


Last Christmas

by nurkat, Sandmann



Series: Leonard McCoy x Reader December [3]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Car Accidents, Christmas, F/M, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, Mentions of Injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:28:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27836041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nurkat/pseuds/nurkat, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sandmann/pseuds/Sandmann
Summary: It is Christmas eve and things take an unexpected turn for you.
Relationships: Leonard "Bones" McCoy & Reader, Leonard "Bones" McCoy/Reader
Series: Leonard McCoy x Reader December [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2033593
Comments: 30
Kudos: 40





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The prompt to "Last Christmas" was the exact same that started “Silent Night” off, but it turned into a completely different story!  
> We had a lot of fun playing with it, and we hope you'll enjoy reading it.  
> Thank you to [Finnegancat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Finnegancat/pseuds/Finnegancat) for the grammar-check! 💖  
> We’ll continue posting the chapters back to back, day by day, so you can unwrap a little of this story each day, or just wait four days until all chapters are uploaded.  
> As always: we would love to hear from you in the comments.  
> We hope you are all doing well out there! Take care of yourselves,
> 
> Nurkat & Sandmann

Leonard McCoy sat at the bar, lost in thought, staring into the glass that was sitting right in front of him. 

His cellphone vibrated in his pocket. Again. 

He declined the call. Again. When your name showed up on the screen for the third time, he switched his phone off. "I said I would look at those damn reports in the morning," he grumbled before taking a sip of his clear, dark liquid. "I'm not even on-call tonight, can't I just get an evening of peace and quiet?!"

Deep down he knew he was being unfair. You had done nothing wrong and in fact, you had been doing everything right.

He wanted things between the two of you to stay on a professional level. He had convinced himself of that, how could he blame you for acting accordingly?

The only times you would contact him now were strictly work-related. Just the way he wanted things to be.

Or so he had fooled himself into believing.

Leonard swirled a whiskey cube in the glass and took one more sip before making eye contact with the bartender. His nod coupled with a single finger confirmation signaled another round. 

***

You stared at your phone in frustration as tears began to blur your vision. 

Why the hell didn’t he pick up?

You felt your chest tighten and heard your heartbeat pounding in your ears as every attempt of calming yourself down failed miserably. There was a dull pain in your lower abdomen and when you looked down you saw that your beige shirt showed a steadily growing dark stain.

“Ma’am? Can you hear me?” The man’s voice seemed to come from far away. “Sorry, but you’ll have to put your phone away for now.”

The color in your face faded along with the hope of Leonard answering you or calling back and you instinctively relinquished your phone.

What had you even been thinking, calling him. Of all people. He had made it crystal clear that he didn’t want to have anything more to do with you than he strictly had to at work. That included not being your emergency contact.

And yet, after the crash, when you found yourself helpless and in pain, it was him you thought of.

Your heartbeat raised and there was a ringing in your ears. The commotion around picked up and everything seemed so loud. The smell of burning, the ash in the air, the broken glass around you.

“Ma'am, we’re gonna get you out of the car now.”

Hadn’t the man just been standing next to your broken window? Your eyes squeezed tight for a moment and then there was his voice again, and it sounded so far away.

You felt your thoughts drift to Leonard once again.

You were so pathetic. You just didn’t know when to stop. He didn’t even care enough to pick up his phone when you called. 

You closed your eyes often to give them some relief from the ash-filled air they were exposed to. You contemplated your own mental status as it got harder and harder to open them again. Finally, you didn’t bother anymore. 


	2. Chapter 2

“Thought I’d find you here!” Leonard rolled his eyes at the sight of his friend Jim, who had just appeared next to him at the bar. “You should have called!”

Leonard huffed as he brought the glass in his hands to his mouth and took another sip. 

“Can’t a man just have a drink in peace and quiet?”

"Who needs peace and quiet? " Jim tightly grabbed Leonard's shoulder. "Life’s too short for that!”

Leonard's nose wrinkled slightly as he took another sip. "Jim, it's been a pretty busy day at work. All I need is--"

"--a good night of fun, I agree!" Jim motioned for two more drinks. "Maybe we can even get into a little bit of trouble…" He winked at the attractive bartender.

"Your kind of fun and my kind of fun have always been two entirely different things," Leonard groaned.

"I am well aware, and that's why I'm here to help!" Jim flashed him one of his blinding smiles. “That’s what friends are for, after all!”

"I don't need your help, Jim," Leonard growled low.

“And that just proves my point, Bones.” Jim pushed the drink the bartender had poured for them over to Leonard. “Time to cheer you up!”

“Which part of ‘peace and quiet’ did you have trouble understanding?” Leonard growled, frustrated.

“Okay, okay,” Jim lifted his hands in defeat. “I’ll tell you what: I’ll leave you alone…”  
“That would be a first!”  
“… once you tell me what’s really going on.”

Leonard shook his head. “You are the most annoying friend I have.”  
“And that’s why you love me.” Jim downed his drink. “That, and the fact that I am your only friend.”

Leonard sight heavily. “You’re not goin’ to drop this, are ya?”

“Nope.”

“Fine.” Leonard gulped the last sip of his drink, then he turned to Jim.  
“It’s about Y/N.”

“Hot Dr. Y/N? Your intern from a year ago, before we headed out into the Black?”

That earned Jim another eye roll, then Leonard sighed in defeat.

“Ever since we have returned to Earth, I just don't know what to say to her anymore. How to deal with her. It’s been a year, Jim.” Leonard took another sip before he continued. “I've started ignorin’ her because it's the easiest thing to do. Ya know, it’d be entirely unprofessional. I just—this cannot work. Drinkin’ enough to forget her sounded like a pretty good alternative."

"Say no more Bones, I’ve got you." Jim moved a little closer to his friend. "Tell me more about her."

"The point is to forget her, Jim,” Leonard shook his head before emptying his glass. “I think I need to assess your memory at your next physical."

Now it was Jim’s turn to roll his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We will be back with chapter 3 tomorrow!


	3. Chapter 3

You were cold.  
“Open your eyes for me, sweetie.”Multiple voices ebbed and flowed.  
“Just- breathe with me. In. Out. In. Out.”  
So cold.  
There were more voices around you. “OK...on the count of three..”

You felt your body being moved and carefully placed on a softer surface, your abdomen protesting against the movement.  
... _ **I gave you my heart**_...  
There was the familiar sound of the heart rate monitor, beeping a little too low and a little too fast for your liking.  
... ** _the very next day_**...  
There were hands on your shoulders, on your stomach, on your legs, palpating, prodding, touching. They felt hot in comparison. In the background, Wham! was accompanying the dance those hands performed all over your body with _**L** ** _a_ st Christmas.**_

So, so cold.  
Your eyes were pried open and a blinding light attacked you, sending a searing pain through your head. You squeezed them firmly shut again and groaned in discomfort. You were still so damn cold.  
“Take a deep breath for me, sweetie, can you do that?” A voice said, but who was she talking to?  
The sound of the monitor changed and began to make you nervous.  
Someone had to do something about that patient!  
You began to feel dizzy, tried to take another deep breath, but you couldn’t.  
 _ **...This year, to save me from tears, I’ll give it to someone special..**_.  
If you had the strength within you, you would have laughed at this line that stuck with you, accompanied you and drowned out all the other noises around you.  
... _**I’ll give it to someone special**_...  
It was not as if you had any say in that matter. Your heart had decided to give itself away without asking for any consent.  
“Hey! I need you to breathe!”  
"She’s not breathing!"  
"BP is 80 over 50, dropping."  
"Prepare for intubation. Prep the OR!"  
... _ **I’ll give it to someone special**_...  
And all of a sudden you didn’t feel cold anymore.

***

“So, the way I see it…” a few drinks into the night Jim looked at Leonard with glassy eyes. “You really like Y/N, but you’re afraid to admit it. ‘Cause you don’t wanna get hurt.” He patted Leonard on the back sympathetically, very pleased with his assessment of the situation. “I hate to break it to ya…but love hurts.” His words had started to slur slightly a while ago.  
“But maybe… maybe she’s worth it.” He looked dreamily at his drink for a few moments before finishing it.  
It’s not as if Leonard hadn’t thought of you, or how things could be between you. Quite the opposite, he would think about how happy you made him and how much he enjoyed your company, but then his anxiety would turn the thought dark.

Leonard had pulled out his phone again to look at the missed calls from earlier, his finger hovering over the text button to reply. When Jim saw that, he tried to take the phone out of Leonard’s hands. "See, you're not in the sweet spot yet. You gotta drink more. Now you're just sad’n lonely ‘nd wanna drunk dial her. I can't let’ya do that.”  
Leonard held onto his phone and both men began to fight over the device for a moment before it accidentally redialed your number. They looked at each other in silence before they argued what to do.  
"Damn it, Jim!"  
"Cancel it!"  
"She's gonna call me back...."  
"Send her a text?"  
"I'm a doctor, not a relationship expert!"  
They were quiet again as they listened to your voicemail greeting, still trying to figure out what to do best.  
They shushed each other as Leonard composed himself to sound absolutely not drunk at all.  
"Hey, uuh, it's Dr. McCoy, just returning your call." He hung up.  
"That's it? 'It's Dr. McCoy?' Come on Bones!" Jim did a terribly sarcastic impression of him.  
"I panicked! It was a stupid idea to call her anyway. Like a lovesick teenager… I'm such an idiot. We're colleagues for god's sake."  
"Honestly, that's prob’ly true, but 'tis the season for a Christmas miracle. I’ll be right back." Jim winked and clicked his tongue before walking away, slightly swaying in his steps, and leaving Leonard sitting at the bar on his own, staring at his phone. He ordered a glass of water as he contemplated what to do next when the phone rang and your name came up as the caller ID. He paused a moment to compose himself before answering.  
"Hey, uh, I'm sorry I missed--"  
"This is Robyn, I'm a nurse in the emergency department of City Hospital."  
"Wait, what?"  
"Sir, this is the last number in Y/N Y/L/N's phone. EMS said she tried a few calls before they had to take her phone. I'm trying to get in contact with family."  
It took Leonard a moment to process what he just had heard.  
“Sir, are you still with me?”  
“Sorry, yes,” he cleared his throat. “I am. What.. what happened?”  
Jim who had strolled back from his excursion to the restrooms looked at his best friend with a worried expression.  
“Sir, are you family?”  
“No.” He paused, feeling the weight of that statement, “No, I am not...”  
“I am sorry, we want to get in touch with family. Do you have any contacts for her?”  
Len knew the protocol. “She is a doctor over at Star Fleet Medical... they should be able to help you out.” He swallowed, trying to find the words that made the most sense while his mind raced. “Is she okay?”  
“She’s in critical condition, sir, but I really cannot tell you more...”  
Leonard ended the call before he dropped his phone into his lap and stared straight ahead, still processing.  
“What’s going on, Bones?”  
“That was the hospital. They are trying to reach out to Y/N’s family...” Leonard rubbed his hand over his face. “EMS said she had tried to call me.”  
“EMS?” Jim was confused. “Bones, what’re you talkin’ about?”  
“It’s Y/N. She tried to call me. Three times!” His voice raised in frustration with himself. “She was taken to City Hospital.” Leonard had to pause. “She’s not ok, Jim”. Thoughts raced through Leonard's head. Then he made up his mind. He grabbed his coat and headed towards the door.  
"What’ya gonna do?!" Jim shouted out.  
"I don't know yet," Leonard said, sounding as if he'd quickly sobered up. “But I can’t stay sitting here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter will be up tomorrow!


	4. Chapter 4

You didn’t feel pain. You didn’t feel cold. In fact, you were not sure if you felt anything at this moment. But there were those images, of you, of Leonard, that floated around you.

The first time you and Leonard had met. You both shook hands professionally, but you felt your heart jump into your throat. It seemed difficult to swallow, but you did without him being any the wiser. 

Leonard, your attending physician during your residency. Your surgical rotation. The way he started trusting you more on your own in the operating room, the way he would place his sterile hands on yours and guided you. His warmth from hovering over you breaking your concentration. How you loved when his subtle cologne, although you’d argue it was probably a combination of clothes soap and body wash, would catch on an air current.

How you had lunch once, after a trauma case. How both of you stayed after an already long day. You shared with him your bagged turkey and cheese sandwich. That was the first time he ever complimented you on your technique.

How he went off-planet. And you felt alone and left behind. Assigned to a different attending physician for the rest of your residency. How he had kept his distance ever since he had returned from space. How you had worked together, but there had been nothing left of the familiarity that you once had shared. 

Or had you ever?

You weren’t sure anymore. The only thing you knew was that your heart was still skipping a beat when you saw him. That your feelings for him had not changed. But you could be professional too. You had to be. Especially since nothing ever had happened between the two of you. And the longer you thought about it, the more you were convinced that it had all been in your head anyway. 

And yet, there he was. In your thoughts. On your mind, in this dissociated state you were in.

**

“My Name is Dr. McCoy. I am here to see Y/N Y/LN.”

The station the nurse sat at was decorated with blinking Christmas lights. She looked at him with a bored expression. “Are you next of kin?”

“No, I am not, but I...”

“Sorry Sir, but there is nothing I can do for you.”

Leonard shook his head in disbelieve. 

“Listen to me, Ma’m, if you don’t tell me right away where I can find her and what the hell happened, I swear to god I will...”

“Dr. McCoy?”

Leonard spun around. 

“You know this guy?” The nurse inquired half shouting across her desk. “I was just going to call security...”

“Yes, Anne. I know him. I’ll take care of this.”

The young man in blue scrubs stepped closer to Leonard. 

“Dr. McCoy, what brings you here at this hour?”

Leonard had never liked Dr. Evans, but now he was more than happy to have run into the familiar face. 

He didn't have time for formalities or pleasantries. The concern was clear on his face, "Evans, I need to see Y/N Y/L/N," his voice shook with concern. "She was admitted to your hospital earlier tonight. S-she called me, and I don't know what happened--"

"How do you know her?" Dr. Evans interrupted Leonard. “Is she family?”

"Damn it, you know she’s not family," his cheeks flushed slightly. "But can you at least tell me what happened?"

The other doctor paused for a moment. "I'm not on her case, Dr. McCoy."

Leonard let out a quick emotional exhale.

"But we haven’t been able to contact family as far as I know. There are concerns that they're off-world, but having someone around, if she wakes up," he paused, "would be nice... I can fill you in on what I know."

The use of the word “if” instead of “when” was not lost on Leonard, and the knot in his stomach tightened as he listened to Dr. Evans’ words.

"The heavy rain has caused an accident on the freeway, I don't know all the details, but there were two trucks involved. They are still working to get the fire under control, it's not pretty out there." He guided McCoy along the empty halls of the hospital.

"Y/N was stuck in her car, technical rescue had to cut her out of the vehicle. There were so many casualties…” The words faded as Dr. Evans continued to detail the story. Everything seemed to slow down as Leonard felt the blood leave his face. Thoughts, both prior fantasies with you, and horrible scenes of what you may have endured flooded his mind.

Leonard had to stop, bracing himself on a hallway handrail. "I never told her," he whispered to himself. “I am such an idiot.”

“What was that?” Dr. Evans looked at him in concern.

Leonard paused for a moment before turning back to his colleague. "Can I please see her?" His request was genuine and heartfelt.

"She's still in surgery." Evans could sense the weight of this tragedy in Leonard's face and offered a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Y/N's in the best hands we have."

Leonard wiped a tear from his eye and donned a stoic face. "Why did she call me?" Leonard finally wondered, "of all people?"

Evans didn’t know how to respond; he simply shrugged, then he gestured towards the two large automatic doors in front of them. “This is our trauma ICU. Our waiting room is right here. I’ll let them know you’re here for Y/N.”

Leonard nodded before watching Dr.Evans approach the nurses’ station. “Susan, this is Dr. Leonard McCoy. He is going to wait here until Y/N Y/LN returns from surgery.” “Glad you were able to find family, Tom.” Susan then looked at Leonard, smiling compassionately.

“And I have good news, Dr. McCoy, you won’t have to wait long at all, she just arrived to us”.

Leonard’s face lit up.

“She was in a lot of pain when she got down here,” Susan continued, “I had to give her some more opioids. She is asleep now. There was lower abdominal trauma and she had already lost a lot of blood out on the street. When she arrived here she coded. Hypovolemic shock. We rushed her into surgery right away. The reconstruction of the injured arteries took a few hours, but the surgery went well. 

“I am sure our surgeon, Dr. Ville, will be able to give you more detailed information about the surgery tomorrow in the morning, Dr. McCoy.”

“Thank you,” Leonard swallowed hard. “I’ll be… can I go in and sit with her for a little while?”

Susan nodded. “Of course. Call me when you need something. I’ll be right over here.”

Dr. Evans clapped Leonard on his shoulder encouragingly before he quietly excused himself. 

Leonard entered your room, his trained eyes scanned the readings of your biobed right away. Somewhat content with what he saw he pulled a chair over and sat down next to you. You looked so pale and fragile laying like that in the bed in front of him. He thought back to your calls he had deliberately not answered earlier this evening.

How he had kept his distance ever since the Enterprise had returned to Earth a few weeks ago when he had felt so drawn to you. He had succeeded in keeping things strictly professional between the two of you when all he really wanted was quite the opposite.

And despite his behavior towards you – when you had been trapped in a car, you had dialed his number. You had reached out to him, and all he had done was to selfishly keep you at arm’s length, afraid to face his own feelings.

He reached out with his hand, wanting to touch you, to hold your hand, but he sat back in his chair, not daring to proceed. He was unable to cope with his thoughts, so he did what he did best – he jumped back into professional mode and grabbed the PADD at the end of your bed, bringing himself up to date with your current medical condition. 

***

The sensation of the automatic blood pressure cuff cycling brought you around again. Although your eyes were still closed, you recognized a familiar scent in the room.

Groggily, you opened your eyes to a dim room, your pain was managed but there was still a discomfort.

Your body was heavy and it felt so much better not to move. You heard the beeping of a PADD and turned towards the source of the sound and were only half surprised to find a familiar figure sitting next to your bed, PADD in hand. Or was this a dream?

"Dr. McCoy," you rasped. Your mouth was dry and your throat was sore. You swallowed a few times before trying again. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have called you--"

"Nonsense, darlin'," he leaned forwards in his chair; closer to you. 

It was really him.

"You were just the first person--"

"I know. They filled me in on what happened. I'm sorry I didn't answer." Leonard swallowed, his words thick with a true apology.

"No, it's okay." You moved to comfort him. Your hand grabbing his; It felt so warm compared to yours. "I should never have..."

"Don't be silly," he smirked, cautious to return a gesture of affection. He looked down at his feet for a moment, trying to find the words, and making sure his sentiment matched his feelings. "I should have been more honest with you, Y/N. I'm kicking myself that it took a situation like this to make me finally realize it. I wanted to be professional. I wanted to do what was right," Leonard trailed off.

"You were always professional, Doctor McCoy." Your eyes were heavy and rested a moment.

“That is exactly what I regret, darlin’.”

You kept your eyes closed as you continued to speak. "Do you know what was going through my head, when this happened?"

He was silent.

"It was you, Leonard. It was our time together. Professional, and what felt like more," you opened your eyes and found Leonard’s locking with yours instantly.

His hands felt warm and reassuring as he carefully squeezed yours. 

“I should not have treated you the way I have. It’s just... I am not very good at things like this.” He looked down as if this were an admission of guilt. 

“It’s ok,” you brushed your thumb over his hand in an act of comfort.

He looked back up and at you again, “I have thought a lot about our time together as well. When you are out in the Black there’s a lot of time to let your thoughts wander, you know?”

Feeling too weak to talk much more, you simply gave him a small smile. 

“When that nurse told me you had been admitted here, I was so scared. Scared that something bad had happened to you. Scared that I had missed my chance and- and I would have that regret for the rest of my life...”

You wanted to listen to him. These words, you had been craving to hear him say. But you began to feel extremely tired and it became hard for you not to shut your eyes mid-conversation. 

Leonard saw that you were struggling to stay awake. 

He reached out to gently stroke your cheek with his thumb.

Your eyes remained closed as you exhaled contently, leaning your head into his touch.

“How about we continue this conversation over dinner, say my place? Once you are feeling better.”

“I’d like that.” Your voice was barely more than a whisper. “You really are someone special…”

When Leonard saw the smile playing around your lips as you finally allowed yourself to drift away he could not help but smile back at you, feeling content for the first time in a long time. He finally had accepted the fact that his heart had given itself away to you a long time ago, and that it was time he’d follow it, wherever it might lead the both of you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this was the final chapter. We hope you enjoyed reading this story and would love to hear from you in the comments!


End file.
